how and why you should see the best in others

If I’m being completely honest with you, a tiny part of me wanted to ditch writing this post. I didn’t feel like I deserved the right to advise you on this since I too, have troubles seeing the best in the people around me. In fact, I would say that I am a pretty judge-mental person, who often falls for the temptation to point out the negative parts of another.

But the other part of me felt that I owed it to both myself, and to you to have this post written and published, because a big thing that I’ve talked about on this blog is the imperfection of the human species. I say that, yet I keep forgetting that I too, am human; and I too, have flaws. I don’t mean to be a hypocrite, and it is never my intention to end up as one, so I will try my best to listen to what I’m about to say as well.

In this broken world, it’s very easy to spot the imperfect, ugly parts of someone else, which leads me to the very first point of this post.

appreciate imperfections

There is never really anything “ugly” in this world, or at least to me. Everything, no matter how unbelievable that sounds, holds its own kind of beauty and serves its own purpose in society. Perhaps you have never noticed something worth admiring in that particular someone you may or may not be thinking of right now; but just because something is not obvious, does not mean that it is not there. Dust is a tiny particle when it is isolated, and we can’t see it, but that doesn’t mean that it’s absent. Dust is everywhere — from the air to the surfaces of the objects we place around us.

The one mistake that our society repetitively makes is placing, or trying to place, definitions on everything that has been discovered, when really some things are better left undefined. Beauty is one of them.

It’s normal for us to spot the ugly side(s) of someone, and we, knowingly or unknowingly, kind of let that take over our overall opinion of them. What needs to happen is us practicing control over our own thoughts. So what if they’re not as perfect as you thought? So what if they show a couple, or hundreds of their flaws? You weren’t supposed to expect someone to always act perfectly in the first place.

Despite seeing or experiencing another’s flaws firsthand, choose to appreciate it instead of criticizing it. Choose to appreciate that the imperfections of the human species is what makes each person so unique. More importantly, it’s what makes our species as a whole different from the rest. Each individual person deserves to be loved, for every part of them, including their flaws. And let’s not forget, you are an individual too.

slight intermission

why you should see the best in people

Don’t feel as though it is being forced upon you to do this, because one of the crucial steps to take in order to succeed in seeing the best in people easier is having a cheerful, willing attitude towards doing it.

When you choose to not let your positive opinions of someone change after you’ve acknowledged their flaws, you will feel like you just had a burden lifted off your chest. Ultimately, letting negativity lead an area, or areas, of your life will only end up in endless waves of exhaustion. You need more mental energy to look at someone in the best way, yes; but once you succeed, you’ll realize that being positive is better than being negative.

Choosing to judge someone by their flaws can make you seem desperate and jealous, even when you’re not. You make it seem like they have something that you don’t, so you try to identify their flaws and reel others in on hating them with you.

Basically, being a criticizer and having a negative mindset about a single or multiple person will not benefit you in the long run, it is merely short term solution that may cause more damage than you anticipate. Whereas seeing the best in others will be tough in the beginning, but will gradually get easier with more practice and patience.

mindfulness

In order to see the best in others, we must first take a look at ourselves. We need to be mindful of our thoughts. If left uncared for or unmonitored, a small judgement can quickly escalate, turning into full-on hate and discrimination. We don’t want that, because hate, like envy and every other negative emotion, poisons the soul and blackens the heart if promoted for a long period of time.

Catch yourself when you have a criticizing attitude towards someone else. Nowadays, it’s so easy to get caught up in the tornado of negativity because of the trend that is social media, as well as the steady increase of influence that others have on us. We need to decide that we’re stronger. We need to believe in ourselves, that we’re able to overcome the fierce winds of negativity and/or hate.

trying to understand

It’s hard to wrap your head around and constantly remember that you don’t see every part of someone, in fact, the only parts you do see of them are the ones that they allow you to see. You are merely a bystander to someone else’s story, and what you think you know about them are only windows. Everyone has something in their life that they don’t speak about, something that they would rather conceal than disclose to the world. You have them too. They’re called secrets.

Before you judge someone or decide that you don’t like them, get to know their side of the story. What if you misunderstood them, misjudged them even? What if they’re currently going through something? What if they’re having the worst time of their life right now? You never know.

We don’t have the right to judge someone else if we don’t know the full story. It is because everyone feels so entitled, so in need of expressing their own opinions that our world is polluted with hate — it all goes back to how quick we are to make assumptions, and the habit we have of voicing and believing them. Yes, it’s okay to speak your mind, but that doesn’t mean you need to do it all the time. “There is a difference between speaking up for intention and speaking up for attention” (Monica Lewinsky, The Price of Shame).

Maybe after you get to hear their side of the story, directly from their mouths and not from a social media page or anyone else, whatever negative emotions you had towards them will evaporate, and it will be easier for you to see the best in them.

Misunderstandings can start unnecessary conflicts, and I hope you don’t cause any. I hope I don’t cause any.

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